Be Courageous Be Bold Hebrews 4:16

Artist: Vanessa Maddoux

I can’t, but…

With Jesus, I can.

Jesus loves us conditionally. You know how I know; this is true? Because he didn’t die for me after I accepted him. He didn’t die for me before I cleaned up my life. He didn’t die for me after I was saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Spirit. No.

Jesus died for me, even though I was lost. Jesus died for me, while I was in darkness. Jesus died for me, while I was unclean. Jesus died for me while, I didn’t even believe in him. Jesus died for all of us while, we were still, empty, broken, foul mouthed, murderers, liars, steeped in idolatry, prejudiced, prostitutes, sadistic, heretics, Godless, unholy and full of dead men’s bones. Man, woman, boy and girl…you are the reason he died in the first place. Even before you were born, the Son of God, Jesus, died for you and me.

This morning in my alone time with my precious Savior, the King of Glory, my dearest friend…He listened to me as I poured out my heart and soul to him. Sometimes you just have to get down to it…to the place where nothing or no one else matters except being bare naked and with raw honesty before the living God. Jesus doesn’t manipulate us. He doesn’t say come to me and I’ll save you if you’ll just serve me and work for me. He doesn’t want our carnal, intellectual prayers or our fleshy good works. That’s not what he asks of us. He wants our devotion to be from the heart and of the spirit to love him as he loves us. Unconditionally, no strings attached kind of love.

Because of His great love for us knowing what he did for us and has done and is doing for us that we love him so much we get to serve him. We get to love others and serve them because of what He did. Not because of what we think we will receive. No praise. No recognition, No applause from the crowds. Our hearts must be like His…even if we are rejected, persecuted, stripped of everything we have, accused or even put to death…we are to love, and treat others just as Jesus has done for us.

We get one life, it’s a one-way ticket through this life and if you are blessed enough to accept Jesus, as your Lord and Savior, don’t waste one minute trying to live by someone else’s idea of who they say He is. Know him for yourself. Get alone with Him. Talk to Him about everything. We have an enemy it’s not your neighbor, family, foreigners. The enemy is the accuser…He is a liar, and he comes in all shapes and sizes to kill you, destroy you and steal your life. He’ll use people and make you think it’s them, but he is behind every evil thought and action. You can’t fight him on your own merit or knowledge. It’s spiritual and can only be fought with spiritual weaponry.

I have one answer for you it’s the best answer you’ll ever receive. It’s right in front of your eyes and has been all along. It’s so simple that most people miss it. What is the answer you ask? When I tell you don’t roll your eyes or, dismiss its importance. If you are wise you will adhere to it, you will take it and it will transform your life forever.

It’s the Holy Bible. God’s words written down to instruct you in every area of your life. Financial, family, marriage, children, government, history, environment, prayer, strategy for war, past, present and future. There’s just one thing required, YOU HAVE TO READ IT AND OBEY! That’s it. That’s all I got! The rest is up to you and Jesus.

I can’t, but with Jesus, I can do all things because he gives me strength.

~Marla Shaw O’Neill December 17, 2021

Philippians 4:13 New King James Version

¹³ I can do all things through ^[a]Christ who strengthens me.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 The Passion Translation

^3–4 For although we live in the natural realm, we don’t wage a military campaign employing human weapons, using manipulation to achieve our aims. Instead, our spiritual weapons are energized with divine power to effectively dismantle the defenses behind which people hide.^[a] 5 We can demolish every deceptive fantasy^[b] that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought^[c] and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One.

Footnotes

1. 10:3–4 Or “strongholds.” The Aramaic word for strongholds can also be translated “rebellious castles.” Paul seems to be referring to demonic strongholds or centers of opposition to the light of the gospel.

2. 10:5 Or “citadels of argumentations,” which include fantasies.

3. 10:5 Or “every scheme.” Paul is using the concept of taking prisoners of war, but in this case the prisoners held captive are faulty patterns of thought that defy God’s authority.

 

Unaware, in the still of the night, gathered around a warm fire light, shepherds were watching their sheep sleeping in an open field.

God said, “Angel-bright go and tell them the good news.”

A glorious light shown around the men as they staired in awe and fear…but Angel-bright said, “Do not be afraid shepherds. I have an announcement to make, I am from the Lord Most High and he sent me to tell you, His son, your Messiah has been born this very night. It will be a sign unto you, go to Bethlehem and you will see a baby wrapped in strips of cloth, lying in a humble trough. Mary, his mother and Joseph are there too.

The shepherds looked on in wonder and as they listened a battalion of angels sang out in one accord…Glory to God in the highest they sang, peace, goodwill to mankind we bring…let all of heaven and earth rejoice at the arrival of the newborn King!!!

The shepherds took an unblemished lamb to lay before the Great I Am and there, they saw, the baby Jesus just as they had been told. The little lamb bayed at the Savior’s side, breathing, sleeping, Messiah, alive…

The sacrifice was made…coming down from heaven His life he gave…

Oh, worship the precious baby lamb today!

His story has been told throughout the ages…

We know he’s no longer in the troth…or wrapped in strips of death-cloth…

The angels are still singing his glory, we, are still proclaiming His story…

Wisemen still seek him…shepherds are watching…for in a day when we least expect it…

The Lion, no longer a lamb will return!

Watch and pray…

~Marla Shaw O’Neill December 15, 2021

Luke 2:8-14 New Living Translation

The Shepherds and Angels

⁸ That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. ⁹ Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, ¹⁰ but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. ¹¹ The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! ¹² And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

 

Thank you for another week of providence.

Thank you for seeing me for whom I am, for whom you created me to be.

Thank you for trials that refine me. Give me a heart like Yours so that I can express your goodness to others.

Thank you for showing me what it’s like to live and love like Jesus.

Help me to be content in all circumstances.

Help me to be satisfied with the manna that you have provided.

Help me to be comforted knowing that I am surrounded by your army of angels who are ready to fight my battles.

Thank you for always providing a way to reframe difficult situations and see them as opportunities to love others.

Help me to see others through your eyes so that I can empathize more and criticize less.

Help me to want good things for others so that I can better appreciate the blessings you have given me.

Thank you for the gift of opportunity every day that I get to be a light to others.

Thank you for the freedom that comes with surrendering to your will.

Thank you for leaving the 99 to pursue the one who got away.

Thank you for pursing me when I was that one.

Create in me a heart that longs for you and sees the world through your eyes.

Teach me how to shift from pride to humility, from anxiety to trust, from cynicism to kindness, and from resentment to forgiveness.

Embolden me to step into faith and live according to the purpose you’ve given me.

Help me stand firm and be the basis of a newfound wild and reckless, trust in you, that surpasses understanding.

Prepare my heart for more of you.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

~Anonymous December 12, 2021

I heard this prayer the other day and it touched my heart in a profound way. A few days ago, there was a circumstance which took place that left me hurt and bewildered. I had absolutely no control over what happened. I wasn’t the person affronted, but it did touch me indirectly. I struggled with God about it. I didn’t want to be bitter or hold ill will against anyone, then I heard this prayer. They were praying my heart. I thought, well, if it touches me in this way, there must be others it would touch also.

I asked if I could share it on my blog and they said, “Yes, but could I please keep it anonymous?” Of course, I said I would. God’s love covers a multitude of sin. We can’t let anything in this life come between us and our loving heavenly father. We must forgive, seventy-times-seven. Give it all to the Lord and let him sort it all out. That is the best way. If the enemy can’t kill us, he’ll try his very best to corrupt us. We must have on the Full Armor of God and fight in the spirit. God bless you today!

Artist Unknown.

To the traveler, I am your journey

To the lost, I am your found

To the weary, I am your rest

To the defeated, I am your win

To the sick, I am your healer

To the hurting, I am your comfort

To the hated, I am your beloved

To the darkness, I am your light

To the blind, I am your sight

To the loser, I am your champion

To the dying, I am your life

To the discouraged, I am your Courage

To the outcast I am your accepted

Why are you cast down Oh my soul?

I am your Redeemer, Your Freedom Fighter, Your Strength

Cast your net on the other side and receive all that I have for you!

Sing when you’re weary, pray when you’re lonely, serve when you’re needy

And give when you have nothing to give!

Then you will know I am your everything!

I am your hope in despair

I am your joy in grief

I am your peace in chaos

I Am…

Savior, friend, brother, sister, mother, spouse, cousin, uncle, aunt, son, daughter…

For everyone who calls on the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I will never abandon you. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you, not ever!!

~Marla Shaw O’Neill December 10, 2021

Matthew 11:28-30 King James Version

²⁸ Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Often times we look at ourselves and think we aren’t qualified for certain tasks. I’m too old, I’m too young, I don’t have the academic qualifications, I’m a baby Christian. I don’t know anything about the Bible. How can I discuss it with someone?

I heard a message this past week the person was talking about Jesus. This one line jumped out at me. My spiritual ears tuned into those words… “I will be with you.” They echoed in my mind even up to the time of this writing. I knew I had to write something. I looked up a number of scriptures where God/Jesus/Holy Spirit spoke those words to people throughout the Bible. A few key examples come to mind.

God would answer each one. I will be with you.

Abraham, went out not knowing where he was going, all he knew was that God said, “I’ll be with you.” Hebrews 11:8

Jacob, wrestled with the Lord. Faced many hardships but the Lord said, “I’ll be with you.” Genesis 32:22-32

Moses, “I’m slow of speech and tongue how can I be a leader? “I know Moses, but I’ll be with you.” Exodus 4:10

Gideon, “How can I rescue Israel. My clan is the least in Manasseh and I’m the youngest of my family.” “I know, but I’ll be with you,” Judges 6:15

Samson, “Strong, but his weakness for Delilah cost him his eyes and his strength.” The Lord said, “I’ll be with you.” Judges 16

David, “This armor is too big.” It is, but I’ll be with you. 1 Samuel 17:39

Jabez, “I don’t want to cause pain.” I understand, I’ll be with you. 1 Chronicles 4:9-11

Mary, “I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it unto me. I’ll be with you. Luke 1:38

Martha, “Troubled and worried about many things.” I’ll be with you. Luke 10:40-42

Elijah, “I’m the only one left.” Not true but, I’ll be with you. 1 Kings 19:9-11

Daniel, “Lion’s den? Really?” I’ll be with you. Daniel 6

Naomi, her husband died and both of her sons, but her daughter-in-law Ruth clung to her. She was not alone. “I’ll be with you.” Ruth 1:14

There are so many more…even Jesus, when he was in human form, in a lonely garden, prayed and said, Father let this cup pass from me…never-the-less not my will but thine be done. Matthew 26:38-40

These words He spoke to his disciples, I will be with you always. He knew what it was to be utterly and completely alone. Suffering taught him obedience and so, He would never leave us nor forsake us. He said, “I’ll be with you.” Matthew 28:19-20

I’ll be with you, when the doctor says there is no hope. I’ll be with you, when the divorce papers are signed. I’ll be with you, when you’re abandoned and left as orphans. I’ll be with you, when you lose your job, and the bills aren’t paid. I’ll be with you, when a loved one dies. I’ll be with you, when you’re sent to prison. I’ll be with you, when the alcohol addiction doesn’t end. I’ll be with you, when you’re sent off to war. I’ll be with you, when you feel isolated, alone and defeated. When you take your last breath, I’ll be with you. Jesus is saying, “I’ll always be with you.” Through every trial and tribulation, every heartache and every pain. Every anxiety and fear. Do not be afraid, I Am With You!

I’ll be with you in good times and not so good times. Weary soldier, do not give up take hold of my promise, I will always be with you!

God is faithful. In every unimaginable circumstance know this, you are not alone. Jesus says, I am with you.

Marla Shaw O’Neill December 10, 2021

Genesis 28:15 ESV / 117

Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Joshua 1:9 ESV / 14

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV /

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV /

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Psalm 23:4 ESV /

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Haggai 1:13 ESV /

Then Haggai, the messenger of the Lord, spoke to the people with the Lord’s message, “I am with you, declares the Lord.”

Deuteronomy 20:1 ESV /

“When you go out to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army larger than your own, you shall not be afraid of them, for the Lord your God is with you, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.

Isaiah 43:2 ESV / 146

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

Matthew 28:19-20 ESV /

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Hebrews 13:5 ESV /

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Judges 6:15-16 ESV

And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” And the Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.”

Isaiah 43:2 The Passion Translation

² When you pass through^[a] the deep, stormy sea, you can count on me to be there with you. When you pass through raging rivers, You will not drown. When you walk through persecution like fiery flames, you will not be burned; the flames will not harm you,

Footnotes: Isaiah 43:2 God’s method of deliverance is often not “out of” but “through.” His presence as we go through difficulties becomes our deliverance. See Ps. 23:4.

Acts 18:9-10 The Passion Translation

⁹ One night, the Lord spoke to Paul in a supernatural vision and said, “Don’t ever be afraid. Speak the words that I give you and don’t be intimidated, ¹⁰ because I am with you. ^[a] No one will be able to hurt you, for there are many in this city whom I call my own.”

I’ve had sixty-six Thanksgivings in my lifetime those are all Thanksgivings in the past. I can’t say I remember the first few but as I grew, I remember my mother and my grandmother, in a little country kitchen, cooking. There was a turkey or a ham, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, fresh green beans, cornbread ‘dressing,’ granny would sometimes put oysters in her dressing it was delicious. Giblet gravy and lots of pies. Pumpkin pie, pecan pie, chocolate pie, orange pie. We loved her pies. She always made a pan of homemade biscuits and sweet iced tea and coffee. Oh, the memories. Granny had seven children and they all had children and so there was lots of family around. Some years there were more family than other times because they couldn’t all make it home. But as time passed family moved away and started their own family gatherings.

When I was about ten, we moved to the suburbs in Tampa, FL. Thanksgiving was still full of great food and family and friends. As the years went by, loved ones passed away and times changed, but those Thanksgiving Day’s past stay with me.

Thanksgiving present brings me to our current time. I’m reminded to be thankful for all that God has brought us through. We are blessed with new faces as new babies and new relatives and new friends gather in our lives. My mom used to say, “Make new friends but keep the old, some are silver and some are gold!” A saying she picked up along her journey through life. It’s true though and it holds to this day.

I’m thankful for my four sons and their families. For my grandbabies and extended family. God has blessed us beyond measure.

I’m thankful for Bob it took 40 years to find my life’s partner, we’ve been married eight years and thank God, he was granted a new heart just nineteen days ago, we didn’t know for certain that he would be here this Thanksgiving. I had faith that he would be that’s all any of us can have. Each and every day is a gift and a blessing from the Lord. I do not take that for granted.

Remember, you are making memories for Thanksgiving Future for many generations, make them count!

God bless you on this Thanksgiving Present, unwrap it with love, peace and joy to all who gather around your table!

From our home to yours,

Bob and Marla O’Neill November 23, 2021

1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

 

 

First of all, let me just say this, what I’m about to write has nothing to do with being “politically correct.” Quite frankly I don’t know how to do that, or, even understand exactly what that means. I come from a different time where the truth was the truth. This is not about men verses women or women verses men or. any of the “others” I don’t even understand. So, with that being said, let me get on to what is on my heart to share. I love you all, Jesus loves you more! 😊

When God created Adam and Eve, and by the way this is coming from a Christian’s view point. The account is found in the first book of the Bible, (Genesis 1:26 -5:5.) The following is coming from my imagination. Thoughts of how I think it could have been because we don’t have all of the details. We do have enough to understand that God is an Awesome Creator.

In the beginning, God, created a man and called him, Adam, in Hebrew adomah meaning, man. Adam was strong and highly intelligent. He had to be to live in God’s vast garden where Adam took care of and tended all the plants and animals. God gave Adam the ability to name all the animals. Can you imagine a task like that? I imagine him swimming with the alligators and hippos in the river. Playfully catching fish and naming each species, then throwing them back just to see them swish away with no fear.

Climbing trees with the monkeys. Eating grapes with the magnificent apes. Running in tall grass with the lions and being tossed from an elephant’s tusk to ride high above the ground on its back. Calling out to the eagles as they dive in to lift him up and soar high about the mountains. Adam, a man after God’s own heart. He was swift as a cheetah. Harmless as a dove. His intelligence came directly from the I AM. Loved without measure. Strong as an ox. Brave as a lion. Tender and kind as a deer. Generous as the *bonobos (monkey). Loyal as man’s best friend, the dog. Keep in mind this was from before the “fall.” Yes, Adam was a man’s man. He was responsible for taking care of all of God’s garden and he was dedicated and reliable. We don’t know how long all of this took, but let’s just say it had to have been years. He never tired and like God, he rested every 7^th day.

But his most devoted time spent in the garden was in the early mornings where he met and walked and talked with God. I suppose that during these times he shared his heart and soul with his creator, who became his father and best friend. God saw that Adam was lonely and he said, It’s not good that man should be alone.

He caused Adam to take a long peaceful nap and then out of his side he took one of Adam’s ribs and formed the most magnificent of all his creations, you guessed it, woman. Adam named his wife, Eve, meaning life.

She was gentle and kind, not as strong as the man. They complimented each other and Adam was beside himself with love for her. He was at her, beck and call; he would do anything for her. God had given them to be help-mates to each other. He gave them one rule. Of the trees in all of the garden you may eat the fruit but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat. For in the day that you do, you will die. (Genesis 2:17)

Life was bliss. They had peace and comfort with each other until one day when everything would change forever. The serpent, Satan, tempted Eve and she gave in to the lies.

At this point I’m not going to give all the details; you can read about that in Genesis. What I want to get at is this. Man, Adam, was strong and brave and faithful to God. He would never, ever, disobey his father God and the serpent knew this about him. So, what does the serpent do? He comes subtly to the woman. Whispers his suggestion to her. “Surely God will not kill you if you eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He’s a loving God after all, are you sure, that is what God said? He caused doubt in her mind and she fell for it.

After the fall and all of these eons later, the serpent, the craftiest of all the animals, is still using the same tactics…he suggests something to our minds and for the most part, we fall for it. We are still falling after all these years. But God…gave us a redeemer, Jesus the only begotten son of God came to restore all that Satan stole from mankind.

When God saves a man and that man lays down the skin-garments of sin and takes up the garments of salvation through the shed blood of Jesus, there is no stopping him.

God has an order to the Universe. He ordained the earth to move and breathe and operate according to His design. He ordained man and woman to move and breathe and operate according to His design. Yes, women can lead, when they are born anew and are filled with the with Holy Spirit. I thank God that they are the first to step out in faith. I praise God for their design. After all, I am a woman. But I’m here to tell you that when a man takes up his true identity and begins to step out in faith and live the life God has ordained him to live; No demon in heaven or hell can stop him. That authority, that God has placed within him causes the demons to tremble with fear when they are bond and cast out by a Holy Spirit filled, walking, talking full of the word of God, man.

That’s why men have been attacked and silenced by Satan because he knows that if one man will dedicate his life to the service of Jesus Christ, kingdoms will crumble. Sickness and diseases will cease. Souls will pour in with multitudes for the living God at the obedience of one man who follows God.

So, men, God is calling you right now to take back your families, take back your God-life, step up and stand up to the enemy and fight with the Power, Love and Sound Mind of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!!!

I witnessed this the other day. Bob had been out of the hospital a few days when a young man was desperately being attacked by the enemy. He came over to our home Bob talked with him and when Bob prayed for this young man. I’ve never seen him pray with such fervor and power of the Holy Spirit before. God has done something unbelievable in Bob’s life since his surgery and I’m doing the happy dance of praise to God for what is taking place.

Women stand in agreement with your men and let God do the building and restoring in your house hold.

And we will say like Joshua said, As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord! Amen

*Bonobos give food like apples and bananas to other bonobos who aren’t a part of their group. These cuddly primates give presents to strangers because they enjoy having new interactions and expanding their social network. Bonobos from different groups will even travel together for days at a time. (from Google)

Their very names are indicative of their roles. Adam comes from the Hebrew adomah, meaning “man.” Eve is from the Hebrew for “life.” The complete biblical account of Adam and Eve can be found in Genesis 1:26 to Genesis 5:5.

Adam named his wife Eve, because she was the mother of all human beings. Adam named his wife Eve [Life] because she became the mother of every living person. Genesis 3:20

Joshua 24:15 New International Version ¹⁵ But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

I would like to share something with you. This is something that I have been moved to share and it is with some emotion that I do so.

A long time ago I realized that one day my time on earth would be over. I don’t say this to be morbid but we are all born with an expiration date. That’s just the way it is and there’s nothing we can do about it. So, what to do about this… we can fret over that day, some day. Or, we can decide to live like today is our last. I will not say that I live like that as I don’t bother to worry or think about ‘that day’. I just don’t worry about it. But, when ‘that day’ does come, what next? Anything, or everything.

I guess most of us don’t think of it either as we just put ‘that day’ out of our mind.

Like I said, I didn’t think about it much, until something happens which causes me to think, could this be it?

This happened recently and I was surprised that I wasn’t freaked out or stressed. Let me tell you the story.

Throughout my life I’ve tried to eat right, sure that’s true, Not! I try, but food is good and when there’s something that I liked, I ate it. About 37 years ago I had an accident which could have ended my life. While there have been other times where I could have died this one was so serious that I was in the hospital in a coma for a week. The other times were slips off mountain trails or sometimes stupid mistakes. That sort of thing.

There was one time that a tire came off a car in the oncoming lane and, well had it bounced just right or had I not been traveling at the speed I was traveling, the tire, on its rim, could have smashed into my car just where I was sitting. That would have been fatal. But, on its last bounce I traveled under it and was clear. I watched in my rear-view mirror, as it rolled off the road missing the other cars and hit a chain link fence leaving a huge ’dent’. To dent a chain link fence takes a lot of force.

Well back to the accident 37 years ago… I fell off a ladder and landed on my butt but that was not the problem. I then slammed my head into the concrete not once but twice. This caused the coma. I’m told that there was a piece of rebar only a few inches from where my head landed, twice. Had I not landed where I did, the rebar could have punctured my scull and well, that would have been that.

I of course didn’t remember the hours before the accident so I explained it as it was explained to me. As a consequence of my injury, I lost all my sense of smell, so tasting things was, well, different to say the least. Over the years, some smell has returned and taste as well. But, not nearly like it was before. This of course changed how I ate. Things that ‘tickle’ the five basic tastes were my focus. Things like sweets for example. I love sweet things. Also, food that has strong flavors are not strong to me but rather just taste good.

So, move forward 25 years or so. My job took me ‘on the road’ and eating out was the only option in most situations. You know what that means… restaurants and fast food. The ‘good’ stuff. Well, the stuff that tastes good.

Now move forward another 12 years. I’m now 67. On my last doctor visit I had gained some weight. Like 15 pounds or more from where my ‘normal’ was. But I jump ahead a little.

Over the past when I was stressed my chest would tighten. This happened especially in the very late ‘80s until I was proven right. You see, I have ‘forethought’ and this time it was that our company was going to close all the stores. I had been with this company 14+ years and was going to retire working for them. That is, until they decided Q1 of 1990 to send us all to a manager’s meeting. At this meeting we were given our walking papers.

When I say that I have ‘forethought’ I’m not saying that I’m physic but rather I have the ability to predict things, sometimes… well most times. I’ve been right more than I’ve been wrong. We all have gifts that we’re given. And, well this is one of mine.

I knew some many years ago that one day I’d have to deal with some heart blockages and would need a stent or two.

Over the past maybe 10 years, if I over exerted myself, my chest would tighten like it did in 1990. This happened before this and I just ‘knew’ that I was out of shape. But I was too lazy to do anything about it. About 7 years ago I had a stress test and everything seemed clear. Over the past 3 years my chest tightening has gotten more regular, but only when I exerted myself. When I was at the doctor, I mentioned that I would like to schedule a stress test. I explained that if my chest tightening was acid reflux or something not heart related that I wanted to exert myself to ‘get in better shape’. You see, the pain would go away rather quickly especially if I ate Tums.

The stress test was scheduled for Friday Oct. 29 at 1:00pm and I was told it would take 3 hours. I got there and we started at 1:00pm. I was told to walk the tread mill until my heart rate reached 130. I did and was in agony. They finished the EKG and sat me down. Then they took my blood pressure and it had dropped. Apparently, this is not a good sign and the test was over. It’s now 1:30pm. So much for a 3-hour stress test. The PA told me that I have two choices. I could see a cardiologist ‘now’ or be admitted to the ER which was around the corner.

They found a cardiologist in our group and I was able to see him at 2:30pm. When he looked at the ‘results’ he said that I would see him at the hospital the next week for an Angioplasty. As he walked us out and told the nurse to schedule me STAT. I didn’t hear anything over the weekend which I didn’t worry about. But on Monday when I didn’t hear anything I called and they said I should come in on Tuesday for an Echo Cardiogram. I then got a call that I was to be at the hospital at 7:00am on Wednesday for the Angioplasty. This was November 3^rd. I did and they performed the Angioplasty.

When the doctor came out to review the findings he said “You’re lucky to be alive”. At this point I still wasn’t freaking out. Remember, I knew that something like this would happen and that it would be OK. But when he said “You’re lucky to be alive” I translated that into you should not be alive. You see, there were four blockages. Two vessels were 100% blocked and the other two ‘significantly’ blocked. One of them was the widow maker. They were blocked to the point where any stents were just not possible. So, for me to have any chance of many more years the next step would need to be surgery. I knew they would be able to fix me because the doctor said so. But what if the worst happened, what about Marla and my girls…

I was ambulanced to JFK hospital where I spent the night and surgery was scheduled for the next day. On November 4^th, I underwent the knife. I didn’t freak out and stress was not a factor. Remember, I knew that this was an eventuality and that things would be fine. But emotions were high and Marla prayed for strength to deal with the situation and, we trusted God that I would come out fine.

The surgery was around 1:00pm on the 4^th and when the doctor came to Marla, he told her that all went well. Still, the following 9 days would be an emotional rollercoaster. I don’t want to explain the entire recovery because that’s boring but I will tell you this. I was not thirsty so I didn’t drink. I wasn’t hungry so I didn’t eat. This went on for 4 days. Wrong move. My not drinking caused some dehydration. That then added some days to my stay at the hospital because my BP would drop severely when standing. To the point that at one point I nearly passed out while standing. I was finally released on November 13^th, 15 days after the stress test.

I say all of this to share ‘peace’. My peace which I’ve been able to keep for most of my life comes from my faith. While that faith has grown over the past few years, I believe its roots have been there from the beginning.

I thank you for reading this. If this were to happen to you or even something less severe and you would not be at peace, please let me know. I believe that we should talk. If you have a relationship with Jesus and know him to be your rock, but still would be freaking out, we should talk. If you don’t have that relationship, we really need to talk.

When I say talk, we can start with texts or emails but if you don’t feel that would good enough let’s talk on the phone and when I’m fully recovered, we can talk in person. My email address: (oneillrj@pbapi.com)

Sincerely with all my heart,

Bob O’Neill, November 16, 2021