Over the past year in a half, I have felt alone and disconnected. I had prayed for God’s Perfect will to be done and that we would be in His perfect will when we moved to Tallahassee. I believe we are in His Perfect will. He sent so many confirmations, but I would question it often, almost every day… “Lord, is this your Perfect will for us, for me? If it is, why do I feel so useless?”
Oh, I’d go to Church. The messages were so powerful. I know God led us to our Church the anointing and teachings are powerful. Being new to any place is always difficult because you’re coming in not knowing anyone and they don’t know you. They were kind and loving, but I couldn’t seem to connect that was on me, though. Mom used to always say, “To first have a friend you have to show yourself friendly.” My confidence was low, and I just couldn’t figure it out.
When we moved here everything was unfamiliar to me. I felt like life for me was over, that was just the enemy talking. But the feelings were real. I gave up driving because at my age which wasn’t’ that old…but I would be apprehensive and nervous not knowing the roads even with GPS, it was too much to take in. So, I turned in my car and let Bob take me to my Dr. appointments, the grocery store, and when I felt like shopping, he’d drive me there. This only caused me to feel more isolated. My health started to be affected, I became weak and disinterested in everything. I’d pray but it seemed to go no higher than the ceiling. I sat on the couch and let the days drift by, watch TV, go to bed toss and turn and start all over the next day. The treadmill was monotonous. “Lord, something isn’t right.” I’d tell Bob that I felt like I was going to die. I started to believe my life was over. I believe one thing kept me from totally giving up…and that was each Sunday, even though I’d wake up not wanting to go, I’d force myself to go to Church. Being there, I was encouraged and strengthened and by the time we left I felt so much better.
I knew my calling was to pray and intercede for others. God spoke to me one time and said, “You pray for my children, and I’ll take care of yours.” This was years ago, and he’d remind me of that and that’s what kept me going.
I shared all that, to say this, a few weeks ago I could hardly walk in fact I almost passed out walking up to the church. I persevered and with Bob’s help at prayer time I went forward and two women who I’ve come to love, and respect prayed for me. Trish and Martha. God answered. That week I went for my Dr.’s appointment, my BP was elevated, and she told me to keep a log, take 400mg of magnesium at bedtime and come back in two weeks. She didn’t want to start me on BP med’s if it could be avoided. So, I did as she said. I rode my exercise bike; I started sleeping better. The leg cramps went away. I kept the log of my BP and each time as the machine ticked away, I’d look at all my grandbabies’ pictures over the fireplace and smile…the voice on the bp machine would say, “Your blood pressure is Normal.” I would beam with joy, and say, “Thank you Jesus!”
A couple of days ago I was sitting on the steps of our deck, just me and God and I looked up in the sky and I said, “God are you there? I know you are, but I can’t see you.” I felt a gentle breeze brush against my cheek, and I said, “Mom, I sure do miss you. Can you hear me?” In an instant this song began going through my mind, it’s a song mom use to sing to us when we were little. “Tu ra lu ra lu ra…Tu ra lu ra lie…hush now little darl’n tis an Irish lullaby…” It was as if God told mom to sing to me and I knew they were both listening…peace settled within me, and I was content.
I had a breakthrough…God is faithful…I have more energy. I’m happier than I’ve been in over a year and I’m going to start driving again! You see, in life we will be tested. When we’re young we don’t realize what it feels like to be less young…I’ll say it like that. Because you haven’t gotten there yet. My son, Abram says, “Exercise is the fountain of youth!” And to that I say, he is right. If you keep active even though you’re not like you were when you were 10, 13 20, 30, 40, 50 you will feel better. All my boys are athletic. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:8, (para) Exercise, profits little, He didn’t say don’t exercise, he was just saying that Godliness has value for all things, there is a promise for both the present life and the life to come. The point is brothers and sisters, Don’t Give Up! Keep going! Stop listening to the lies of the evil one…but Hold onto the truth and Life that Jesus gives, He is, faithful! He keeps his promises! He will not leave you and he won’t forsake you! Life gets difficult it’s true. Jesus said we’d have troubles but to be of (good cheer, (a shout of encouragement, praise, or joy.)) He overcame the world and because he did, we can too!
Laugh in the face of difficulty! Never surrender your life the enemy! Get up, keep going, this, is, the day the Lord has made let us Rejoice and be glad in it! Tomorrow never comes…it’s always today! Be encouraged…life isn’t over until God says it is…so, Stand strong and bold and tell your body it doesn’t rule you…let the Spirit of God rise up inside of you and run this race with perseverance, when you feel alone and cast down, lift up your voice and Sing…if you can’t sing, make a joyful noise to the Lord, he is pleased with you and will help you!
This is a brand-new day with new adventures…don’t let it pass you by!
Praise God and Thank you Jesus…we’re still alive!
I love ya…most of all Jesus loves you!
If all you can do is one step…then take that step in Jesus’ name until you can do two steps, three steps before you know it, you’ll be running!
There ain’t nothing that Jesus and you can’t do when you set your heart and mind on him then there is peace because you can Trust Him! Amen!
~Marla Shaw O’Neill September 7, 2023
1 Timothy 4:8 New International Version For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
Dictionary says: noun: good cheer.
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1. a shout of encouragement, praise, or joy.
“a tremendous cheer from the audience”
Similar: hurrah, hoot, hosanna, alleluia etc.
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2. cheerfulness, optimism, or confidence.
I’m sorry you have had such a hard time but I’m so happy you have worked through it. I miss you. Wish you were still here but God has other plans for you