Issues of the Heart

I would like to share something with you. This is something that I have been moved to share and it is with some emotion that I do so.

A long time ago I realized that one day my time on earth would be over. I don’t say this to be morbid but we are all born with an expiration date. That’s just the way it is and there’s nothing we can do about it. So, what to do about this… we can fret over that day, some day. Or, we can decide to live like today is our last. I will not say that I live like that as I don’t bother to worry or think about ‘that day’. I just don’t worry about it. But, when ‘that day’ does come, what next? Anything, or everything.

I guess most of us don’t think of it either as we just put ‘that day’ out of our mind.

Like I said, I didn’t think about it much, until something happens which causes me to think, could this be it?

This happened recently and I was surprised that I wasn’t freaked out or stressed. Let me tell you the story.

Throughout my life I’ve tried to eat right, sure that’s true, Not! I try, but food is good and when there’s something that I liked, I ate it. About 37 years ago I had an accident which could have ended my life. While there have been other times where I could have died this one was so serious that I was in the hospital in a coma for a week. The other times were slips off mountain trails or sometimes stupid mistakes. That sort of thing.

There was one time that a tire came off a car in the oncoming lane and, well had it bounced just right or had I not been traveling at the speed I was traveling, the tire, on its rim, could have smashed into my car just where I was sitting. That would have been fatal. But, on its last bounce I traveled under it and was clear. I watched in my rear-view mirror, as it rolled off the road missing the other cars and hit a chain link fence leaving a huge ’dent’. To dent a chain link fence takes a lot of force.

Well back to the accident 37 years ago… I fell off a ladder and landed on my butt but that was not the problem. I then slammed my head into the concrete not once but twice. This caused the coma. I’m told that there was a piece of rebar only a few inches from where my head landed, twice. Had I not landed where I did, the rebar could have punctured my scull and well, that would have been that.

I of course didn’t remember the hours before the accident so I explained it as it was explained to me. As a consequence of my injury, I lost all my sense of smell, so tasting things was, well, different to say the least. Over the years, some smell has returned and taste as well. But, not nearly like it was before. This of course changed how I ate. Things that ‘tickle’ the five basic tastes were my focus. Things like sweets for example. I love sweet things. Also, food that has strong flavors are not strong to me but rather just taste good.

So, move forward 25 years or so. My job took me ‘on the road’ and eating out was the only option in most situations. You know what that means… restaurants and fast food. The ‘good’ stuff. Well, the stuff that tastes good.

Now move forward another 12 years. I’m now 67. On my last doctor visit I had gained some weight. Like 15 pounds or more from where my ‘normal’ was. But I jump ahead a little.

Over the past when I was stressed my chest would tighten. This happened especially in the very late ‘80s until I was proven right. You see, I have ‘forethought’ and this time it was that our company was going to close all the stores. I had been with this company 14+ years and was going to retire working for them. That is, until they decided Q1 of 1990 to send us all to a manager’s meeting. At this meeting we were given our walking papers.

When I say that I have ‘forethought’ I’m not saying that I’m physic but rather I have the ability to predict things, sometimes… well most times. I’ve been right more than I’ve been wrong. We all have gifts that we’re given. And, well this is one of mine.

I knew some many years ago that one day I’d have to deal with some heart blockages and would need a stent or two.

Over the past maybe 10 years, if I over exerted myself, my chest would tighten like it did in 1990. This happened before this and I just ‘knew’ that I was out of shape. But I was too lazy to do anything about it. About 7 years ago I had a stress test and everything seemed clear. Over the past 3 years my chest tightening has gotten more regular, but only when I exerted myself. When I was at the doctor, I mentioned that I would like to schedule a stress test. I explained that if my chest tightening was acid reflux or something not heart related that I wanted to exert myself to ‘get in better shape’. You see, the pain would go away rather quickly especially if I ate Tums.

The stress test was scheduled for Friday Oct. 29 at 1:00pm and I was told it would take 3 hours. I got there and we started at 1:00pm. I was told to walk the tread mill until my heart rate reached 130. I did and was in agony. They finished the EKG and sat me down. Then they took my blood pressure and it had dropped. Apparently, this is not a good sign and the test was over. It’s now 1:30pm. So much for a 3-hour stress test. The PA told me that I have two choices. I could see a cardiologist ‘now’ or be admitted to the ER which was around the corner.

They found a cardiologist in our group and I was able to see him at 2:30pm. When he looked at the ‘results’ he said that I would see him at the hospital the next week for an Angioplasty. As he walked us out and told the nurse to schedule me STAT. I didn’t hear anything over the weekend which I didn’t worry about. But on Monday when I didn’t hear anything I called and they said I should come in on Tuesday for an Echo Cardiogram. I then got a call that I was to be at the hospital at 7:00am on Wednesday for the Angioplasty. This was November 3^rd. I did and they performed the Angioplasty.

When the doctor came out to review the findings he said “You’re lucky to be alive”. At this point I still wasn’t freaking out. Remember, I knew that something like this would happen and that it would be OK. But when he said “You’re lucky to be alive” I translated that into you should not be alive. You see, there were four blockages. Two vessels were 100% blocked and the other two ‘significantly’ blocked. One of them was the widow maker. They were blocked to the point where any stents were just not possible. So, for me to have any chance of many more years the next step would need to be surgery. I knew they would be able to fix me because the doctor said so. But what if the worst happened, what about Marla and my girls…

I was ambulanced to JFK hospital where I spent the night and surgery was scheduled for the next day. On November 4^th, I underwent the knife. I didn’t freak out and stress was not a factor. Remember, I knew that this was an eventuality and that things would be fine. But emotions were high and Marla prayed for strength to deal with the situation and, we trusted God that I would come out fine.

The surgery was around 1:00pm on the 4^th and when the doctor came to Marla, he told her that all went well. Still, the following 9 days would be an emotional rollercoaster. I don’t want to explain the entire recovery because that’s boring but I will tell you this. I was not thirsty so I didn’t drink. I wasn’t hungry so I didn’t eat. This went on for 4 days. Wrong move. My not drinking caused some dehydration. That then added some days to my stay at the hospital because my BP would drop severely when standing. To the point that at one point I nearly passed out while standing. I was finally released on November 13^th, 15 days after the stress test.

I say all of this to share ‘peace’. My peace which I’ve been able to keep for most of my life comes from my faith. While that faith has grown over the past few years, I believe its roots have been there from the beginning.

I thank you for reading this. If this were to happen to you or even something less severe and you would not be at peace, please let me know. I believe that we should talk. If you have a relationship with Jesus and know him to be your rock, but still would be freaking out, we should talk. If you don’t have that relationship, we really need to talk.

When I say talk, we can start with texts or emails but if you don’t feel that would good enough let’s talk on the phone and when I’m fully recovered, we can talk in person. My email address: (oneillrj@pbapi.com)

Sincerely with all my heart,

Bob O’Neill, November 16, 2021