The Favor

She sat on the cold metal table, numb immovable. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move, she tried desperately to comprehend his meaning.

“What? What did he just say? I have…I have can… cancer? What do I do? I have to get home. No, I can’t tell John and the girls this just isn’t a good time. Not now! This happens to someone else not to me, there must be some mistake.” She began to shake, tears streaming down her face with horror and disbelief.

“I see his mouth moving but I can’t hear what he’s saying.” Suzan tried desperately to understand but she was in shock.

“I know this is difficult to hear but we need to start radiation and chemo right away. First we have to do a PET scan. Because of the location in your throat it is impossible to operate. Today is Monday; we will schedule your appointment for this Friday at 8:00 a.m.” Doctor Beck took Mrs. Martin by the hand.

“Suzan look at me.” He handed her a tissue and a glass of water. “I’ve known you and your family for fourteen years, I know this is very hard to take but you are a strong woman it won’t be easy but it is treatable. The survival rate for this type of cancer is very high and with your faith and family support I know you can do this. We’ll do everything we can to help you.”

Suzan looked into Dr. Beck’s eyes and listened intently. “Oh Dr. Beck this can’t be happening. Jackie is graduating college in two months and my grand baby is due any day. John has been looking forward to taking me to Israel this summer. I know I have nothing to complain about, it could be worse but I never in a million years expected this. How can I possibly tell my family this news? This is what I want you to do for me Doctor. I’ll go through the test and start the treatments after the baby is born and Jackie graduates. If you’ll give me until then, I’ll do everything you say without a fuss.”

Doctor Beck said, “Suzan this is nothing to play around with even though it is a slow-growing cancer it needs to be dealt with immediately. But if you promise you’ll keep your word to have the tests done now, I’ll see about postponing the treatments for a couple of months. However, I’m telling you as your doctor you cannot wait a minute longer. It’s totally your decision, Suzan. It can cut off your air supply and you’d suffocate. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?” Dr. Beck looked her square in the eyes and waited.

“Yes Dr. Beck, believe me I understand but I’m not going to let this interfere with the plans John and I have made for our family. I won’t have them worrying about me. God has brought me too far to let me down now and if he wants me to come home I’m more than ready. And one more thing Dr. Beck I don’t want John and the girls to know yet. Promise me you won’t say a word.” Suzan held her breath and waited for the doctor to agree.

“It’s against my better judgment but if you keep your end of the deal I’ll keep mine. Let’s go and get everything set up. We can at least get the PET scan done.”

Suzan left the doctor’s office and headed to her favorite place to pray. There’s a prayer-garden at the church, a sanctuary of peace. Tall oak trees canopied the walk ways, and bronze guardian angels watch over you as you walk beneath their wings. Little birds chirp nearby and a cool summer breeze brings refreshing to the spirit and the soul. Suzan took a deep breath then crumbled to her knees to open her heart to heaven.

“Holy father maker of all living things you gave me my life and you are the only one that can take it. We are here for just a short while and I’m so thankful for the time you’ve given me. I’m thankful for my husband of 30 years and for our two daughters, Mercy and Jackie and soon a grandchild. You said children are a heritage of the Lord and I appreciate what you have entrusted to my care. I’m not asking you to spare me from this awful thing growing in my throat I know I can do all things through you because you will strengthen me. But I am asking that you will grant me a few more years to be with my family and to see my grandchildren grow up. Everything is in your hands and all things must pass through your hands when it concerns your children. So I’m just asking this one small favor Papa God, give me grace and mercy to endure. Amen.”

Mercy had a beautiful bouncing baby boy they named him Israel John Shea. Jackie graduated with honors and would start teaching next fall.

“John I need you to call the girls and ask them to come over for dinner tomorrow night I’m making their favorite spaghetti and meat-balls and tiramisu for dessert.” Suzan said with a determined smile.

“WOW what’s the occasion? You usually make that on a weekend is it someone’s birthday?” John could never remember dates.

“I just want the family to get together I have some news I want to share with everyone and I think dinner would be the best way to do that. Tell them they cannot cancel and I will not take no for an answer.” John knew when she used that tone there was no getting out of it.

“OK honey, I’ll call them right now.” John dropped his newspaper and reached for his cell phone.

“Thank you sweetheart I have an errand to run I’ll be back in about an hour.” Suzan picked up her purse and keys and quickly left the house.

Upon arriving at the doctor’s office Suzan signed in and took a seat. Sitting next to her was a little girl she looked to be about 8 years old. Her hair was completely gone she looked at Suzan with big brown eyes and smiled.

“This is your first time here isn’t it? I can always spot the newbie’s you’ll be OK, don’t worry. My name is Sherri spelled with an “i” at the end. All my friends call me Lil Miss Angel not because I’m so cute and sweet but because I’m little and I’m an angel. This is my third month of radiation, mommy drops me off for an hour then she comes back to get me, she knows I’m in good hands. I’m not afraid I’m a big girl and you know what? I have a best friend he lives right inside my heart. You know what his name is? It’s Jesus and he told me I didn’t have to be afraid at all.” Suzan listened in amazement and thought, “This little girl is my hero!”

Sherri told Suzan all about the cancer growing in her body and how the chemo made all her hair fall out but that it would grow back. Then she told her about her best friend and how she sees him in her dreams and how one time she saw a beautiful bright light and it took her to a place where the sky lit up with radiant colors, covering everything in hews of lavender and yellow; green and red; orange and pink; a place only little kids would dream of and you know what else? The air smelled like summer time after a fresh rain. I didn’t want to leave. Did you ever chase a rainbow Miss Suzan? I was in the rainbow.” Her face was glowing.

“And you know what else, I went to heaven for a visit and Jesus sat me on his lap and told me all about how the world was formed and then he told me that I was sent to my mommy and daddy for a very special purpose. Mommy and daddy needed a little angel girl to brighten up their life and so he sent me.” Sherri got real quiet and then took another breath and said, “Jesus said I’d have to come back to earth, it wasn’t time for me to go to heaven yet. He smelled just like wildflowers and honey. He gave me a great big hug.” Then he said, “Sherri I’ll see you again but it will be when you’re very old in earth years. Then I woke up and I began to get better.”

The nurse came to the door and called out. “Mrs. Suzan Martin?”

“Sherri honey, you are a very special Lil angel thank you for telling me your story you have given me great hope. I’ll see you next time OK?” Suzan stood to go. Sherri smiled real big and reached up for a hug.

The girls arrived at the house at 6:30 p.m. “Mom, Dad we’re here.”

Suzan was just putting the dinner on the table. “Come in. Where’s my grandson?” Mercy handed Israel to his Grammy and then they all settled around the table.

“Dad said you have something you want to discuss with us what’s it all about?” Mercy said as she reached for a bread-stick.

Suzan took a deep breath and began by saying. “God has all wisdom and all things are in his hands. That being said I need to tell you that I began radiation therapy today.” John dropped his fork and the girls just stared.

They all started to speak at once. ”Why didn’t you tell us? How long have you known? What’s the radiation for?”

“Calm down, I know this is a shock to all of you but I just couldn’t tell you with the baby coming and the graduation so I waited that’s all.” Suzan said, kissing Israel’s cheek.

John spoke up first, “Well, tell us the details what kind of cancer is it and why didn’t you tell me?”

“You know that lump on the side of my neck the one we thought was because of a cold?  I had Dr. Beck look at it and the tests came back positive for cancer of the tongue. It’s about the size of a nickel. He said the survival rate is very good for this type of cancer. I have to go for radiation for five days and chemo once a week for six weeks. I’ve cried and prayed and now have peace. Especially after what I saw today at therapy I have a lot to be thankful for.”

Jackie ran to her mother and threw her arms around her. “Mom whatever you need me to do I’ll be right here for you.”

“I know you will Jackie but you have your new job coming up and I don’t want you distracted, if I need you I know how to get in touch with you. That goes for you to Mercy. You have your hands full with little Israel, don’t worry your dad and I can handle this.”

“They made a mesh mask to cover my face and neck I look like Darth Vader only it’s white. It fits over my entire head then they strap me down. I have to lie perfectly still so they don’t miss and fry my eye.”

Mercy gasped and said, “Oh Mama that’s terrible how can you joke about it? I would be devastated. And I know how claustrophobic you are.”

“That’s why I hold a small medallion of Jesus in my hand the whole time and I pray without ceasing. The worst part is that the mask is so tight over my face, it is very difficult to breathe and it makes me feel extremely anxious. But I asked my heavenly father to give me grace to stand it and for a merry heart to endure it. I just hope I can stay positive until I’m completely well again. Then I want us to take our trip to Israel.” They embraced each other and bowed their heads to pray.

Suzan suffered the pain of burns in her mouth and could not eat or drink so they put a feeding tube into her stomach. The chemo and radiation took its ugly toll on her. John held her as she vomited every morning. They cried out to God for mercy. She kept losing weight. Nothing the doctor gave her could sooth the burning in her mouth and throat. But they persevered. And then it was over, at least the radiation and chemo was over. The doctor ordered another PET scan which determined that the cancer was gone but so were Suzan’s taste buds. Her mouth was raw she couldn’t eat or even drink without pain. She went from a size 16 to a size 6. She tried desperately to eat but it only caused pain. The only thing sustaining her was the nutrition drinks and even those made her sick. Then they decided to go visit the little angel girl. Sherri’s hair had begun to grow back with little blond curls. She was cancer free.

“Miss Suzan, we’ve gone through enough pain and suffering don’t you think?” Sherri said as she picked up a small book from the table. Then she handed it to Suzan. “The Favor,” was the title of the book.

Sherri said, “Miss Suzan, Jesus has a favor he wants to ask of you. But first you have to believe that he wants you well. Do you believe?” Suzan frail but bright-eyed smiled and said, “Oh yes Sherri I believe.”

“He wants you to visit the children that are listed in this book. They don’t have long to live in this life but during the time they have left, he wants them to know him. He knows you know him and He wants you to share His love with them. Can you do that?” Sherri asked with a bright and cheerful smile.

“Yes Sherri I’ll go tomorrow.” As Suzan agreed she felt a warmth flow all through her body, strength filling her limbs and saliva filled her mouth which had been completely gone.

“Oh my, I feel wonderful. John the pain in my mouth is gone and I can swallow I never realized how wonderful spit could be.” Suzan began to laugh out loud. Thank you Jesus!”

It has been three years since that miracle day and the encounter Suzan had with Lil’ Miss Angel. She met and shared Jesus with over 1000 children who had terminal cancer but they left earth with Jesus in their hearts. Are you ready for the favor?

My mother was diagnosed with tongue cancer last year she has lost so much weight and still struggles to eat and continues to lose weight. But her faith in God sustains her. She’s 81 years old she is a cancer survivor. I dedicate this story to her.

Mom had the ultimate healing and went home to be with the Lord in July 2015.

~Marla Y. O’Neill ©2013